MQotW – Work Edition Vol. 1 Issue 5

I Want Change I Can Believe In But Am Scared Of Both Change & Beliefs But Am More Frightened By Women Who Look Like Hillary,

Last edition’s quote was: “(raised voice) Jason, how many times have I told you to pick that damn thing up? (lowers voice sheepishly) A lot, I think. (lowers further) Probably several, maybe.”

The correct answer is Houseguest, starring the late Phil Hartman and the sometimes-even-later Sinbad. This was a film that many missed in the great annals of film history, but includes Phil Hartman as the local Whitest Guy You Know, Sinbad as a fast-money-seeking self-help-video-watching layabout, and a classic case of mistaken identity. Mix in overused stereotypes of corporate families and Italian-American loan sharks, and watch the hilarity effervesce. There’s also a poignant lesson about not using topical Novocain as a hand sanitizer, for those of you looking to teach that adage to your children.

Last editions winner was Absolutely N. O’Body. Mr. O’Body is fictional, as no one from the non-fictional world even ventured a guess. (My wife, however, did attempt to answer via cheating just so she could be made fun of in this particular section of MQotW. I liken this to Britney flashing her crotch at a paparazzo (now coined a “Crotchograph”), as she is just doing it for the attention. Much like I have shunned Britney, I am now officially shunning my wife for this egregious affront to the sanctity of MQotW.) The fictional Mr. O’Body is a fitting recipient for a fictional prize, I suppose.

But instead of awarding him with a satchel of wet “Irish I Were Drunk” beer cozies, I will take this opportunity to reiterate the purpose(s) of MQotW. The purposes of MQotW do not include actually testing anyone’s movie knowledge for the purpose of sport, or conveying any shortcomings of your upbringing simply because you can’t remember all of the Funniest Things That Other People Say. Read: it will not, in fact, hurt you to take a guess or even just participate (‘show some love’) by sending a quick note to yours truly to acknowledge that, in some small way, MQotW serves a higher, ultimate purpose, which is to make you Laugh.

While this is the Over-Arching Philosophy of MQotW, the subset of purposes to serve this Big Kahuna of purposes are:

  1. I need to know that there are nerds out there that have a slight interest in or knowledge of random movie knowledge, the uselessness of which rivals that of the aforementioned Britney.
  2. you need to know that there is more to life than debits, credits, accruals, forecasts, Bat Mitzvahs, Chinese for lunch, and making up email addresses for your guinea pig, and I view MQotW as a slice of life upon which you lot are invariably in desperate need of munching.
  3. sponsorship – I am convinced that MQotW, with its rapier wit, erudite vocabulary, and creative use of social insecurities, is the perfect vehicle through which some company/publication/campaign/chess club can gain unsurpassed notoriety for the low, low price of $10 per Reader per Edition!. (If you happen to represent any one of the things between the slashy thingies, or if you know the proper term for the slashy thingies that have become such a large part of our lives thanks to Al Gore’s internet, please contact me immediately.)

That being said, this issue of MQotW is brought to you by Noah’s Bagels. Bagels Breads Lunch Coffee; Welcome to your Neighborhood Noah’s. If you are looking for a great way to start your morning that does not include uttering any of the following sounds:

-leave the money on the dresser
-you think that’s worth $20?
-I paid for the Vaseline

… then your Neighborhood Noah’s has the answer. From pork products wrapped in hastily-baked doughy carbohydrates to bagels covered in a dairy product so questionable that we invented the word ‘Shmear’ to not-so-cleverly cloak its gynecological qualities, there’s an entire plethora of menu options to shove down your gullet and make you feel bad about yourself. Stop by today!

Be the first to guess the title of the movie from whence the below quote was taken, and you will receive a grand fake prize from yours truly. If your correct response is received second, you will receive no prize whatsoever, but will be mocked for your inferior movie knowledge and/or less-than-catlike reflexes.

Please note: The point of MQotW is to acknowledge those with a completely useless mental database of movie knowledge, NOT to reward you for book marking or some other movie site & being able to type quickly; therefore, if you are found guilty of such high treason, you will be summarily dismissed from the distribution list. And I will flame you on MySpace. Research at your own risk.

Because this contest has some timing aspects to it, and to be fair to all my homies, I will distribute the MQotW at noon every Tuesday. Unless I’m busy.

Without further ado, I give you this edition’s…

Movie Quote of the Week

1: “Do you know who I am?”
2: [nods]
1: “Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I’ve killed over the years?”
2: [shrugs]
1: “Look at you, you don’t even have a name tag. You don’t have a chance. Why don’t you just fall down?”
2: [falls down]

Buena Suerte!

I’m So Bad At Sports I Get Confused Between Raider Nation And Guys Who Run Around In KISS Costumes,

Brian “Obama. No, Hillary. Okay, Obama. Wait Which One’s Funnier? Hillary? Naah I Disagree. I’m All Obama All The Way” Hansen
Master Quotidian
“Shmear is Deliciously Unforgiving To Your Lower GI Tract!”

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 4:48 pm and is filed under MQotW, sponsorship. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “MQotW – Work Edition Vol. 1 Issue 5”

  1. edgar rhode says:

    grosse pointe blank ( if it isn’t – it should be.

    and then theres this ::

  2. Anonymous says:

    of course theres this as well – which should appeal to your or R’s sensibilities ::

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