Step #1

Yeah, so I finally did it – I recorded a completely sloppy 10 mins of what I call “Make Shit Up” time.  “Why now?” you ask, “after all that blithering & whining & complaining about how you’re too afraid to put yourself out there?”  Many, MANY reasons abound… but those on the short list:

1) I’m feeling ballsy today because work’s going well, and I made a tidy sum on my first ever “day trade” yesterday.  (No, I’m not a day-trader, I just decided to bet big & roll the dice yesterday, and they came up rosy.)

2) I’m back in therapy, and today’s session involved a minor break-through acknowledgement:  I’m angry about not being in control of my own sense of accomplishment.  i.e. I have almost zero ability to try something new on my own volition because I’m always afraid of failing & the punishment it can (and did) entail.

3) I’ve been podcasting with the Tech Support Guy Show for years, and a friend of mine, who consumes more than his fair share of podcasts, complimented my performances, and suggested that I use a podcast as a test platform for comedy since I fear taking the stage physically for a live audience.  (Fear is an understatement.  I shake like a wet cat in a beer cooler on rocky seas.)

When these three elements combined, they led me to finally say FUCK IT, and so today & I sat down and recorded 10 minutes of pure riffing.  And you know what?

IT DIDN’T TOTALLY SUCK.

I’d love your feedback, but DON’T put it in the comments, since I never seem to get them there.  EMAIL ME.  actor@brianmhansen.com

I’m using podOmatic to upload & host it for now, but 10 mins recorded on iMovie at 640×480 took up 25% of the free capacity they give me, so I may just start uploading it here.  So enjoy it one of two ways: here or below.

Seriously… follow me there & keep looking for it here, because it may not last long on podomatic; at this rate I can only get 4 episodes of 10mins a piece before I have to pay. (PRO service is 4 times bigger but costs $10/month… not sure if it’s worth it.  Even Tina Fey spent more than 40 mins being awesome before she got Awesome-Sauced by the media.

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Top 5 Updates

Alright kids, here’s the dish:

1) I got my new website up & running (duh).  It’s a shiny new toy & I hope to spend hours & hours in the next few weeks turning it into a home.  If you have any suggestions or thoughts, let a brother know.

2) I auditioned last weekend for a part in a play that’s going to be done as a component of the SF Fringe Festival.  I didn’t get the parts though.  I did, however, learn a lot from that audition experience.  Thank you to the ManTrip men for helping me celebrate getting the audition; thank you to the Bay to Breakers crowd for supporting me actually going to the audition while y’all were still here; and as always, thank you to my wife for talking me down from ledges.  (Only a few roles require auditioning from a ledge.)

3) I do have ANOTHER audition lined up for next weekend – but this one involves singing.  Holy crap.  Does anyone know where I can find sheet music for Elvis songs?  Seriously.  Buckle up.  Audition is the 31st, so look for an update here around the 3rd or so.

4) I’m still working on comedy for open-mic / stand-up formats, but that’s taken a bit of a back seat lately to all the auditon prep & regular acting classes, not to mention all the business trips, vacations & guests we’ve had.  However, if you happen to be keeping score, you’ll know that Open-Mic Night #1 is not far off…

5) Work is work, though I’m less than thrilled with the negativity that circulates ad nauseam these days.  And no one seems to be willing to try anything different than what we’ve already done – all of my suggestions get forwarded on into the realm of the “If Only We Weren’t Scared Of Screwing Up We’d Do Something Like This.”  So on a scale of 1 to Not Motivated, I’m definitely Not Motivated.

… No no, I said Top 5, I meant Top 5.  Go back to your BBQ – happy Memorial Day.  Unless you’re Canadian.

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